it is about the nail
Stop what you're doing. I need you to watch this video.
... Did you watch it? You promise? Good. I've watched this video in at least 4 different lectures I've been in, if not more. Yes, it's funny and ridiculous and a bit stereotypical. It also makes a good point - whether or not it's trying to.
Sometimes we can clearly see someone's problem. Actually, sometimes we think we can clearly see someone's problem. The solution is obvious and we want to jump in and fix it. Right after they share their pain with us, we shoot back with as many ideas as we can think of to fix their situation.
Do you ever wonder why do this? Sometimes I think about that. I will say that I do believe we, as a species, do genuinely want to help one another. However, I also believe that we can struggle to sit with others in their pain - so we try to fix it
It is painful to be around pain. Our brains have these special neurons called "mirror neurons" that are used for all types of different things. Mirror neurons are in charge of mimicking brain activity of the people around us. It's way more complicated than that, but you get the gist. Studies show that when we view others in pain our own mirror neurons fire and our brain responds almost exactly as if would if we were experiencing the pain directly. We can quite literally feel the pain of those around us. This goes for both physical and emotional pain. It goes without saying that we don't like to be in pain, and being around others in their painful moments can actually hurt us.
How many times have you heard someone say "don't cry"? I've been digging that Harry Styles song Sign of the Times lately. The very first line is "just stop your crying it's a sign of the times". Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry it's just a joke. There's no use crying over spilled milk. Big girls don't cry. If you pay attention I bet you'll hear it more than you even realize. It's such a common thing in our society to try to shut down others negative emotional expression.
You know who didn't do this? Jesus.
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
. . .
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
- John 11:1-7, 11:32-44
I love John 11 - the death of Lazarus. It's one of my favorite passages in the Bible and has been for as long as I've been a follower of Jesus. It's given me different gifts throughout the years. When I first started to believe I cherished how Jesus wept with Mary and Martha even though he knew he had the power to raise Lazarus from the dead the whole time. I loved how Jesus had such empathy for Mary and Martha. Don't get me wrong, I still love that aspect. But now, the part that calls to me is how Jesus found out that Lazarus was sick so he stayed where he was two more days. Because of Jesus's love for them, he stayed still. He could have left immediately. He could have rode in like a white knight and saved Lazarus from ever dying in the first place. Doing that would have saved a lot of people from experiencing pain, thereby eliminating the pain he would have to deal with.
But that's not what he did. Yes, Jesus did raise Lazarus from the dead. Yes, he did eventually solve their problem. Yes, he did eventually fix it. But it's so important to note what he did first. Before he ever raised Lazarus from the dead, he allowed Lazarus to die. He went to Mary and Martha and wept with them.
Jesus didn't shy away from others pain. Jesus wasn't afraid of the pain he would experience by being around Mary and Martha's pain. He embraced their pain. He felt it with them and felt it fully, weeping with them. I love that. Jesus wasn't afraid to feel the pain and discomfort that vulnerability can bring... Are you?
I know earlier we talked about how it's not about the nail. But it is. It is about the nail. It's about each of the nails that were used to hang Jesus from the cross. Jesus didn't shy away from experiencing pain on our behalf - emotional or physical. He loved us enough to endure that pain because he knew it's what we needed then and what we still need today. He sacrificed his whole life on our behalf. We need to be willing to sacrifice our own comfort in order to connect and really love one another. Because that's what Jesus did.
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I'll see you soon.